8 Ways to effectively manage a transition

Transitions can be fraught with anxiety as we experience change in what is familiar.  Transitions can include significant life events or adjustments to our daily routine that disrupts what is known and comfortable.  As I reflect on my personal life as well as look around at the lives of close friends, family members, and clients, a wide array of transitions is apparent including the following: moving, starting a new job, being unemployed, adopting, having babies, loved ones getting sick, kids going back to school, starting college, starting jobs, adjusting to a new culture, dating a new person, getting married, and losing loved ones.  This is by no means a comprehensive list and you may have your own unique transition that you are currently facing.  How we handle transitions can have a direct impact on our day to day well being.  Below are some suggestions on different ways to effectively manage your transition.   

1) Respect your feelings: How does your transition make you feel?  Do you feel positive like happy or excited, or do you feel negative like anxious, overwhelmed,  or tired?  Perhaps you feel a mix of positive and negative emotions.  Your feelings are your feelings.  Grieve if you are sad.  Rejoice if you are excited.  Allow yourself to feel as you feel without judging your feelings.

2) Maintain your spiritual connectedness: Continue maintaining your spiritual practices in order to keep yourself centered in God.  Continue praying, attending church, reading your Bible, connecting with others, and engaging in other spiritual disciplines.  Remember that you may have times and seasons in your life, especially during transitions, where the rhythm of  your spiritual disciplines may be disrupted or you may feel disconnected in the midst of all the changes.  Do your best to maintain your relationship with God through your spiritual practices and know that this season of transition is also an opportunity to experience God's steadfast love despite the changes.

3) Take care of your physical needs: Remember to do the basic things well like eat healthy and balanced meals, get enough sleep and rest, and exercise regularly.  Take care of your physical body which in turn can help you better weather the stress of a transition.

4) Be gracious and patient with yourself: In a transition, all the changes large or subtle can be emotionally disruptive.  You might even act out of character at times.  Remember to be extra gracious and patient with yourself.  Forgive yourself too for times when you may not be at your best. 

5) Maintain a sense of grounding: Do you have regular routines or traditions that you follow?  Doing your regular chores, following your regular exercise schedule, or having that Friday night pizza routine despite what is going on can help ground you in familiarity. 

5) Reframe your view of the situation: Whether your transition was by design or by circumstance, reframe how you view the transition as an opportunity to learn something about yourself.  In some of my transitions of deepest loss, I learned lessons about what things were really important to me.  I also learned to better value each opportunity knowing that we only live one time.  Ask yourself, "what is God trying to impress upon me in this transition?"

6) Practice thankfulness in the midst of your uncertainty:  You don't have to be an unrealistic rose colored glasses wearing optimist to practice thankfulness as much as you identify some aspects of your transition that you are thankful for.  Finding things to be thankful for can help balance out any negative thoughts that may unduly dominate your thoughts and emotions while recognizing that there can be both a duality of positive and challenging things in your transition.  

7) Talk to others: Share with others your thoughts and feelings.  By sharing with others, you might feel more supported, less alone, and more cared for as you allow someone else to carry the weight of some of your stress.   

8) Seek help if you get stuck: Have you tried doing many or all the things suggested above but still feel like your feelings and/or thoughts are overwhelming you?  Are you having trouble at home, school, or work because of your transition?  Feel free to seek the help of a counselor or other mental health professional who can help you better sort through what is going on and help you get to a better place where you can live more closely into a place of less distress and greater contentedness.

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